It pisses me off to think we're conditioned to push away bad feelings and think anything that's uncomfortable is to be avoided. When things are really bad nowadays, I recognize the value in it because it's me filling my quota-- it's going to make my joy more intense later.
-- Fiona Apple

There's no such thing as mental illness. We're all mentally ill and we're all haunted by something, and some people manage to find a way to ride it out so that they don't wind up needing extra help. So I think that "mental illness," as a term, is garbage. Everybody is in various states of needing to transcend something.
-- The Mountain Goats' John Darnielle

說起來,每個人都多少有些情緒上的陰暗處,會無端抑鬱,會情緒不好,會消極會悲觀。網上訪談、臉書推特上這些都很平常,基本上你覺得沒什麼反正人就是這樣。可是問題是,白天我所實際遇到的人們都看起來那麼樂觀積極正面向上幸福滿足,說起話來或專業或小氣都簡單直接—— 所以說,大家都習慣在生活裡使用兩幅面孔,這才是真實的扭曲?

「What do i do? I just generally worry about things.」—— JG.


I grew up with bands like Beck and Sonic Youth and Nirvana-- it was cool to not care. But we live in a time period where you have to give a fuck. If we just allow the destruction of our lifestyles, our habits, our cultures, our movements, our environments, our relationships to other cultures-- it's going to be a time of dark ages. How are we going to stop that if we shrug our shoulders? That is insane to me.
-- Dan Deacon

我成長的年代確實崇拜酷,90後好像不那麼講究這些,他們比較習慣太陽和坦率。00後好多是一個人一螢幕一世界的天生低頭族。70後是讓我們仰望的酷,我們崇拜嚮往,但骨子裡其實沒有那麼徹底的酷—— 大多時候我們循規蹈矩,做該做的事/普世價值觀認同不違背道德原則的事,但隱藏在自覺很酷的包裝底下。沒有真的酷得什麼都不理,沒有足夠讓我們豁出去的勇氣,太多不捨丟棄的甜頭。但我們之中仍有少數人真正實踐酷這回事,有人在自我主導的情況下放棄看似平穩的生活,大踏步走出舒適區,真正走入生活和做自己想做的事。剩餘的我們花很長時間來認同自己,尋找傷害性最低的酷指標,最終停止仰望回歸真實。終於我們不再講究這態度酷不酷,該做的就做,該表態的就表態—— 我必須實踐身為公民的義務,明哥說。


The corporate system is fully psychopathic, and any creative people who enter into business with any of these organizations come up against a lifetime of issues. Most people just give up with time and go, "I'm a victim." The only reason I've got the reputation for delays and spending a long time on things is because I just don't stop. We've had incredibly huge obstacles in our way-- no tapes, no royalties, no cooperation on any level-- and we sort it out.
-- My Bloody Valentine's Kevin Shields

RADIOHEAD在灌錄THE BENDS期間,到過紐西蘭。風景壯麗得叫初次到訪的他們震撼—— 但站在大自然前THOM YORKE忽然想起,能來到這個地方,完全是因為MTV付費—— 而MTV的片頭總是伴隨著巨大可口可樂。一旦認清這事實,景色再好都失去意義。COLIN GREENWOOD說當他們初次到ABBEY ROAD STUDIO錄音,和所有人一樣為終能涉足神的錄音室而激動;但當平靜下來,意識到這專業、乾淨、莊嚴得像醫院的錄音室固然美好,但少了農莊大廚房、少了好食物、少了能讓他們盡情表演隨意揮灑的大空間。他們推崇Naomi Klein的「NO LOGO」一書,拒絕大集團的入侵,拒絕成為CORPORATE TOOLS。

威爾斯大團MANIC STREET PREACHERS從首張專輯開始就在討伐社會問題經濟體制。第一張專輯第一首歌就出現了這句子:「Madonna drinks Coke and so you can too/ Taste's real good not like a sweet poison should/ Too much comfort to get decadent/ Politics here's death and God is safer sex 」


我們確實是這樣長大的。我不知道是不是只有80後會這樣,我好奇60後與70後真的更多比我們更清醒的人。用年代將人劃分不是聰明的做法,但當我們成長在不同的時空,對一世人影響最深遠的童年/青春期確實發生了不一樣的事。經歷饑荒的祖先,戰後嬰兒潮,走過513的上一代,養在好人家被寵溺呵護的某些人—— 每一個時代有些什麼在發生,當時我們曾經暗自決定過什麼—— 讓世界更美好/讓家人吃飽/讓靈魂更自由/讓文化更豐富/不做功課要玩得更痛快—— 都成了根紮實地在魂裡生長,不讓你有機會遺忘。


Things are changing. If the world ends on December 21, I'll be perfectly happy with that. Who knows what the fuck is going to happen. But the old systems are crashing, and the patriarchy is falling away, and it looks like we're moving into a new realm, more of a feminine presence. It's not going down easy, that's for sure. All we can do is try to resonate on a different frequency.
-- William Basinski

還剩4天。世界末日傳過無數次,但沒有一次是像這樣幾乎所有人都多少相信/覺得/認定的。如果眾志成城,22日的太陽或許欲振乏力。但這次最弔詭的,是身邊好多人好像真的不在乎而且有點在悄悄期待似的—— 我們的生活早已到了如此不堪的地步麼,大家邊說無聊邊調侃邊繼續生活之餘,有沒有人在用盡全力大喊末日別來我愛我的生活?